Desperately Seeking And Promptly Forgetting Advice

Almost every important decision I make -- notice I said important, I need to get this point across so I don't come off as an adult baby who can't do anything without a constant conversation with mommy and daddy -- goes through the ringer. I start by calling my parents. They are the most grounded, solid advice-givers in my life, and I take what they say very seriously. Well, until I don't, but we'll get to that.

Next I open the conversation to those friends closest to me. I stop by my best friend's apartment, and we chat about nonsense for a while before getting down to brass tacks. This is my issue, these are my options, now what in the world should my next move be? Usually, this conversation is interrupted every few minutes or so with a "oh, before you go on," by her or a "wait, this is totally off topic, but," from me before resuming the discussion about the pressing matter at hand. I usually leave her place happier and fuller then I arrived, but none the wiser. 

The next stage in seeking-out-advice-from-anyone-who-will listen is just that. It's the stage in which I have become so all-consumed with a decision I need to make or a problem that I am currently battling that I will literally -- and I can not be more clear about how literal I am meaning to be -- talk to anyone within a five-foot proximity. My waitress just needs to know the details of my upcoming job interview, right? And isn't it obvious that my new co-worker should weigh in on the issue I am having with my very very very non rent controlled apartment?

It's an epidemic. A true-to-life disease, and when it hits, it hits hard.  The most obvious symptom of this insufferable sickness being the word vomit. I talk and talk and talk, forcing all those in my path to listen, and then I get a giant dose of reality medicine, which is able to cure me instantaneously. I didn't get the job, the rent predictably goes up, and no amount of discussion or advice will change these outcomes. You can prepare and discuss and practice and stress about it all, but in the end, the scary thing is that life just happens.

Sure, when I went into the interview I was wearing the pressed black pants my mom told me would be a great investment. I was armed with witty, yet spontaneous answers to the typical, what is your biggest flaw-type questions thanks to my slightly craftier and more experienced friends. One quick word about that question. I have always hated it, my flaws are so expansive and vast that if I was to actually tell you one of them, I would probably end up in the nut house at the end of the interview instead of that windowed office that could have been mine. But I digress, for in the end the pants were too tight and that dreadful, twisted question was never put on the table for me to lie about, I mean answer.

When it comes down to it, advice can be great. It personally comforts me to know that others are aware of my big challenges and have helped me sort out my feelings. But, more often than not, the sound advice that has been bestowed upon me hasn't exactly been worth its weight in syllables. All the advice in the world isn't going to make my dream job seek me out, and it certainly isn't going to make me awkward-free around the opposite sex. So while I thank all of you that have listened to me, and listened to me and then listened to me a little bit more, I also need to confess that from now on, when it comes down to it, I will consider your advice, I really will, but then I will just go ahead and do what I want to do anyway.

Now, don't think this means that I will stop approaching you at all hours of the day. No, no, it simply means that we now have a mutual understanding that when things are discussed I listen, I take in what you have to say and then I simply forget most of what has been offered up to me. Lets get honest with each other right here and now... I know most of you are already culprits of the listen, nod and forget, I am just classier and have decided to come clean in a very public way. I for one believe I am a great advice giver, but my secret friend dream couple is still not together, and my sister is still on the 8-year Ph. D. track to too much school, so I know you're politely nodding and smiling when it's my turn to impart knowledge and that you will leave my presence and do what you want.

However, this charade is never allowed to stop, ever. It can't. The world will screech to a halt right on its axis. I need to keep talking about myself as do others. Here I will use my dad's most favorite and ambiguous words of wisdom... it is what it is. And in this case, he could not be more right. I talk, you listen, you talk, I listen... it is what it is. Advice is offered and accepted and then promptly forgotten about, so that the advicee can go about his or her business in the exact way they were going to no matter what the advicer has said. This works for the advicer as well, since people need to feel, well, needed. You want to offer your advice just as much as I want to tell you about the situation that has landed us here in the first place. This is how people are, deal with it, in fact embrace it. Seeking and handing out advice is a necessity, even if it is immediately forgotten.

Now, what should my next blog post be about, any advice?